10 weeks and a day!

Yay I am 10 weeks and 1 day today! I lost all three of my babies before this point and I am feeling good and feeling as though I might bring this baby home! Yesterday I pulled out my doppler and after about 15-20 min I was able to find the beautiful little heartbeat. It ranged from the high 170s to 180s and sounded beautiful I was able to listen to it for about a min then it wiggled away! I was so happy to hear the beautiful noise and it made my day absolutely perfect. I keep praying that this is my little miracle and that in 28-30 weeks I will bring my beautiful healthy baby home from the hospital.

God answers prayers

Sorry I forgot to update! Last week I went in for my second ultrasound, after baby measuring 4 weeks 3 days two weeks before I expected to go into the second ultrasound with either bad news or a baby measuring 6 weeks 3 days. Well we went in and baby measured 7 weeks 5 days which was close to where I thought I was and baby had a beautiful heartbeat. I was so excited and in shock. God is so good and I feel so blessed that at this point he is answering my prayers. I don't know if God will allow me to bring this baby home and hold it in my arms but for now God is showing me that everything is going to be okay and that God will take care of me no matter what happens with this baby! I am still praying for my miracle and that God will allow me to bring this baby home from the hospital and that it will be healthy, beautiful blessing to our family!

Here is our little miracle at 7 weeks 5 days! I am now 8 weeks 5 days so I am slowly continuing on in this pregnancy! =)

Tomorrow is the day

Tomorrow is the day that we find out if i am having miscarriage #4 or baby #4. I am so scared, nervous, hopeful, and every emotion that you can imagine. I have spent the last two weeks praying and praying for this baby, praying that God will allow us to bring this baby home and raise it! I am hopeful that maybe this is my rainbow baby. I can't wait until tomorrow comes so that I can be off this rollercoaster ride. I am just ready to either mourn this loss, or get excited about this pregnancy and baby! I keep praying that regardless of what God does I am praying that I will turn to God and cling close to him, whether it is good or bad news.

A time of prayer

I have decided that I am on FB all the time! So I decided after some prayer and thoughts that I am taking a break from FB until my next Ultrasound. Instead of getting on FB I am going to pray, read scripture and spend time with God. I am going to focus on praying over my little one.  I am praying for a miracle. I know that God doesn't always choose to preform certain miracles but I am praying he preforms my miracle with my baby!

I am enjoying my pregnancy and am so thankful to feel so sick and to have extremely sore boobs. It gives me hope that this maybe a viable pregnancy! Today with looking up some different scriptures I found some verses that I wanted to pass along.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5 ESV

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18 ESV

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (Matthew 6:34) 

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all of our anxieties upon the Lord because he cares for us.

James 1:2-8 tells us: Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” Philip. 4:6)

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)”

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.“ (Matt. 6:34)

Unsure...but God is giving me hope

This past week has sure been a roller-coaster ride. On Tuesday I went in for an u/s, I should have been close to 6 weeks....well I got in and the gestational sac measured 4 weeks 3 days, there was a yolk sac as well. The ultrasound tech was def concerned as this is a week and a half behind where I should be. I was in tears I felt crushed, I started shaking and crying hysterically. But then I started getting confused because the tech said she almost thought she saw the flicker from the heart and Josh thought he saw it too. But if I am only 4 weeks there should not be a heart beat...unless the baby was just slower to grow or the measurements were off. I left the office crushed and so confused....feeling defeated once again and preparing myself to once again mc causing me to have 4 miscarriages which is more the the number of children I have alive. It scared me and I just lost it! I cried and cried...then I told my husband I am getting another HCG blood draw....I just need to know for sure. So I went in later that day. Then that night I calculated if my numbers doubled every other day what my numbers should be which equaled out to 13,000 and some change. So I thought ok we will see what happens. Well then I talked with my doc and she said if I was 3000 she felt safe at this point....I still didn't feel safe and had a friend who is a nurse say no you would be safe with 6000 not 3000, so I prayed for 6000. I asked God to make it very clear to me with the blood results....I asked for either 6000 or really low so that I knew without a doubt that it was coming....well the next day I got the call....my numbers were 13,000 and some change.....I was in shock! I couldn't believe it. Once I got my results I scheduled my U/S for after Thanksgiving on November 27th. I am praying that this is my little miracle and that God is giving me a healthy, beautiful little baby that I will have in my arms in July! Please Lord let this be my time, my miracle! I am still a little nervous but at the same time God has given me hope that at least for now he has entrusted this baby to me. Please Lord let me take it home!

Got my 2nd set of blood draws

Today was such a good day!!!!

I got the call from my doctors office today that my numbers more then doubled....I went from 84 to 218....yay!!! I am so excited. I finally let the excitement of the pregnancy sink in. I am going to treasure and love this baby everyday that God allows. I am praying/begging that God will allow me to keep this baby and that it would be healthy. Next week I will head in to see the doctor for my first pregnancy visit!!! Then the week after I will have my first ultrasound.

Please Lord let this be my for keeps baby. Let me love and treasure it all the days of my life. Let it be happy and healthy! Thank you Lord for allowing me to love this baby already please help me to take care of it and my other kids in the best way possible. Thank you Lord for this miracle! ~ Amen

Will this be baby #4 or MC #4

Wow!!! I didn't realize how stressful pregnancy is! Last week I got a beautiful positive on multiple tests including a digital. I was so excited although somewhat scared at the same time. My fears of losing another one and having more mc's and more babies waiting for me in heaven, then births and children on earth. It is so scary, frustrating, and hard. I keep crying out to God begging him to allow me to keep this baby and to take it home with me. I don't know if that is going to happen and that scares me but I am trusting that God is working it all for his good. I know if he allows me to mc again that God will get me through. I honestly dont know how I will get through but somehow and I can only do that through God and my family!

I got my blood drawn yesterday and will again tomorrow to see if my levels are increasing the way they should be. I am praying that they do but I am concerned that they wont. I am afraid that my nausea and sore boobs mean nothing, and that the spotting that just started today mean everything. My tests are still strong, but I can't help being scared.

It is so weird to not be super excited about being pregnant but I know it is because in the past year my innocence has been taken, after three healthy beautiful boys, I have struggled and struggled to keep a pregnancy. I have had at least 3 MC's in the past year with a possible chemical in there from last month. It is heartbreaking, devastating, and crushes me to the core.

Please God be with me, and be with this beautiful baby. I thank you for everyday you have allowed this baby to be in my belly and I ask that I enjoy everyday. I beg of you to allow me to bring this baby home and care for it. Please entrust this baby to me, my arms, my family. Help me get through the struggles, pains, and emotions that I am going through. In your name ~ Amen