ANGRY

ANGRY WITH GOD
I have found myself so angry with God. After my first miscarriage I told God I was mad but I knew he was with me holding me and comforting me. Then I began to pray that God would give me a beautiful, healthy baby that I can bring home. I asked him/begged him to not allow me to get pregnant if this would happen again. I feel so let down, alone, and mad. I don't get why God answers so many peoples prayers the way they want it but when I ask a simple prayer that I will never go through a miscarriage again BAM....he allows me to get pregnant and 6 weeks later takes that precious life from me once again. I don't get what I did wrong and why I have to go through this again. What else is there that I need to learn from losing a baby that I didn't learn last time? I am so scared that I am ending on a miscarriage because these are going to be my last thoughts of being pregnant and giving birth. I feel like God let me down even though I know that he is right beside me holding me, comforting me, loving me through this. He will get me through this and I pray that I continue to cling to Him even though I am SOOOO angry with Him. I don't even know anymore if I should pray for another baby because I know I can't go through this for a 3rd time. This has been so hard emotionally and physically and I don't think me or my family can do this again.

ANGRY WITH MY HUSBAND
I wish my husband could understand how I feel and what I am going through. He has been more comforting and there for me more this time but I still feel like he doesn't really get it or understand why I feel the way I do. I wish he would just cry even shed one tear even if it is just because I am crying! He doesn't have to cry over the baby but at least cry for me. I sometimes wish the guys could feel a little of the pain that you go through when you miscarry, just so they can have a little more compassion or understanding.