Tomorrow is the day

Tomorrow is the day that we find out if i am having miscarriage #4 or baby #4. I am so scared, nervous, hopeful, and every emotion that you can imagine. I have spent the last two weeks praying and praying for this baby, praying that God will allow us to bring this baby home and raise it! I am hopeful that maybe this is my rainbow baby. I can't wait until tomorrow comes so that I can be off this rollercoaster ride. I am just ready to either mourn this loss, or get excited about this pregnancy and baby! I keep praying that regardless of what God does I am praying that I will turn to God and cling close to him, whether it is good or bad news.

A time of prayer

I have decided that I am on FB all the time! So I decided after some prayer and thoughts that I am taking a break from FB until my next Ultrasound. Instead of getting on FB I am going to pray, read scripture and spend time with God. I am going to focus on praying over my little one.  I am praying for a miracle. I know that God doesn't always choose to preform certain miracles but I am praying he preforms my miracle with my baby!

I am enjoying my pregnancy and am so thankful to feel so sick and to have extremely sore boobs. It gives me hope that this maybe a viable pregnancy! Today with looking up some different scriptures I found some verses that I wanted to pass along.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5 ESV

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18 ESV

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (Matthew 6:34) 

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all of our anxieties upon the Lord because he cares for us.

James 1:2-8 tells us: Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” Philip. 4:6)

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)”

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.“ (Matt. 6:34)

Unsure...but God is giving me hope

This past week has sure been a roller-coaster ride. On Tuesday I went in for an u/s, I should have been close to 6 weeks....well I got in and the gestational sac measured 4 weeks 3 days, there was a yolk sac as well. The ultrasound tech was def concerned as this is a week and a half behind where I should be. I was in tears I felt crushed, I started shaking and crying hysterically. But then I started getting confused because the tech said she almost thought she saw the flicker from the heart and Josh thought he saw it too. But if I am only 4 weeks there should not be a heart beat...unless the baby was just slower to grow or the measurements were off. I left the office crushed and so confused....feeling defeated once again and preparing myself to once again mc causing me to have 4 miscarriages which is more the the number of children I have alive. It scared me and I just lost it! I cried and cried...then I told my husband I am getting another HCG blood draw....I just need to know for sure. So I went in later that day. Then that night I calculated if my numbers doubled every other day what my numbers should be which equaled out to 13,000 and some change. So I thought ok we will see what happens. Well then I talked with my doc and she said if I was 3000 she felt safe at this point....I still didn't feel safe and had a friend who is a nurse say no you would be safe with 6000 not 3000, so I prayed for 6000. I asked God to make it very clear to me with the blood results....I asked for either 6000 or really low so that I knew without a doubt that it was coming....well the next day I got the call....my numbers were 13,000 and some change.....I was in shock! I couldn't believe it. Once I got my results I scheduled my U/S for after Thanksgiving on November 27th. I am praying that this is my little miracle and that God is giving me a healthy, beautiful little baby that I will have in my arms in July! Please Lord let this be my time, my miracle! I am still a little nervous but at the same time God has given me hope that at least for now he has entrusted this baby to me. Please Lord let me take it home!

Got my 2nd set of blood draws

Today was such a good day!!!!

I got the call from my doctors office today that my numbers more then doubled....I went from 84 to 218....yay!!! I am so excited. I finally let the excitement of the pregnancy sink in. I am going to treasure and love this baby everyday that God allows. I am praying/begging that God will allow me to keep this baby and that it would be healthy. Next week I will head in to see the doctor for my first pregnancy visit!!! Then the week after I will have my first ultrasound.

Please Lord let this be my for keeps baby. Let me love and treasure it all the days of my life. Let it be happy and healthy! Thank you Lord for allowing me to love this baby already please help me to take care of it and my other kids in the best way possible. Thank you Lord for this miracle! ~ Amen